The Poker Bus

WongBlog 3: Wong Find Bulldozer

Wong driving home yesterday and see bulldozer parked hiding behing Possumsquash Municipal building. Wong being so excited! It being now Wong big chance for get stolen bulldozer back! The keys, they are being inside! Wong let now Sally drive car home and try drive bulldozer.

Wong now finding out of big problem. Wong knowing not how for drive bulldozer! Bulldozer being quickly crash into ditch. Wong needs now move at bulldozer before repo man finding.

Wong calling at friend Leroy who running of tow truck company. He coming right over, but only laugh and laugh at Wong troubles. He say, “Wong, my little tow truck going never get out of ditch bulldozer so big.”

Wong being now so sad and very also confused. How Wong bulldozer going get unditched, Wong asking at Leroy. He telling at Wong, “Wong, you being not member of AAA? They maybe able going be help.” Wong asking what AA, and Larry telling at me they American Automobile Association. Wong being not American, so decide needs join only AA club instead. Wong brother Gary Wong always talking about how they very helpful.

Wong now calling at Gary Wong, ask how Wong able become AA member. He saying just go meeting in church basement at 5:00. Wong try asking what kind crazy tow truck driver cult being loiter in church basement, but Gary Wong being too drunk for understand at Wong.

Leroy giving at Wong now ride to church and Wong going at meeting. There being 17 men all chainsmoking at cigarettes and drinking of coffee. Wong taking of some coffee for to be politely. They all then introducing at themself and Wong very excited, because get chance for now pick very much most qualified tow truck man.

“My name Bill, I being alcoholic.”

“My name David, I being of very bad alcoholic.”

“My name Jeff, I being alcoholic.”

Wong being get now very concerned. Everybody seeming be alcoholical! Wong unsure at whether want these men being tow at Wong bulldozer, but then now decide that if they really are best in town tow truck men, Wong going have needs give them chance.

Finally it coming around at Wong and Wong saying now, “My name Wong, I here because drive bulldozer into ditch.” They being all now ooh and ahh and man asking if Wong ready for make commitment for stop drinkings. Wong saying OK, because it being very bad taste coffee anyway.

Wong ask what needs be done for join of secret club. They telling Wong there 12 step. This so exciting, Wong wanting always be secret handshaking person like Mason or Oddfellow, but they always are rejecting at Wong. Wong being now eager for get started right now away, because it getting dark and Sally Wong being get very mean when alone for too long. They start telling at Wong steps, and they seem so very easy. There no goats needing humpings or steal at enemy mascot. Wong asking if they going make Wong chug beer until throwing up like college fraternity, but they becoming very upset.

First step for Wong being admit powerless over problem. That ok, Wong not going get by self bulldozer out of ditch. Second step they telling at Wong make very much sense. Wong needs for believe in higher power, like giant tow truck with big winch. They are asking at Wong for to make moral inventory and Wong try be tricky, say have no morals. They not liking of this, then get mean, start making of personal attack at Wong. They saying Wong needs ask God for help with fixing at Wong shortcoming. Wong get so mad! There being no reason for poking of fun at Wong height!

Wong yell and scream at stupid tow truck men, leave meeting in very bad mood. Wong decide there being only choice left for to walk back to bulldozer, try for figure how drive bulldozer back out ditch.

It being very late by time Wong getting close, and Wong seeing funny orange glowings in sky from distance. Wong running now up and find bulldozer on fire! Sally Wong there, drinking at bottle of rum and yelling at Wong in very mean way. Sally saying she mad because Wong spending too much time with bulldozer, never coming home and giving at her any Wong dong action, so she going destroy Wong bulldozer, take care of problem. Sally somehow also finding where Wong hide at her ammuntion, waving now gun around, shooting in air, threaten very bad at Wong. Wong becoming now very scared, tell Sally she right, promise for pay better attention at her, take home, then start planning for revenge. Sally going soon be in big trouble!