The Poker Bus

Ask Wong

Wong so sorry for failings to update blog lately. Wong being very busy now with new advice column called Ask Wong. It being hosted on totalbluff.com forum, here you direct link to column. Wong going be post now some highlight from recent column. If you having of question or seeking for advice, join you totalbluff and send at Wong a PM, or leave you reply here, and maybe Wong going use your question in future column.

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Dear Wong: I have been playing poker for a year now, and I think I am good. But I keep getting brutally sucked out on, and my wife is pissed that I am gambling away our rent money. What should I do?

Signed,
Wifebeater

Dear Wifebeater,

Wong so sorry for to hear about terrible head your wife giving. That sound like good reason being do crazy gamblings, maybe one day you winning enough for afford new wife. If you want, Wong send at you catalog of lady who waiting meet man who able provide green card. You forgetting tell at Wong how long you now are being marriaged. Wong guessing it not vrey long. Keep you being patience, because wife going stop soon the suckings out altogether. Also, try for take landlord to local happy ending massage parlor, bribe you owner for incriminating picture, then you having way for keep him away from important gambling monies.

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Dear Wong,

My name is not important, even though you can already see what my name is. The hell with it, my name is Antonio Esfandiari, i’m a great man, who is great at poker, magic and sex making. But last week, i had made sweet sex with this woman, let’s call her……Kathy Liebert. It was alright, somewhat sloppy, but that was a givin going into it. But as of this morning, I have been having this awful itching going on around my sackage, and i’m pretty sure that it’s crabs and it’s from Kathy. So i have 2 question, 1. What do you recommend for crabs? and 2. How should i go about telling Kathy that she gave me crabs?

Your Truely,
Antonio Esfandiari, So fucking R&R

Dear Mr. LOTR&R,

Wong applauding of your attempt for to prove non-gayitude and magic skills by making penis disappear up bum of man pretending for to be woman, but trick going be unsuccessful because of high difficultness level and because Ms. Liebert having bigger adam’s apple than you do. Next time try you for to pull rabbit from bush of Annie Duke. That being fairly easy, and everybody agreeing that Ms. Duke actually lady, even though very unnatractively one.

For crabs, get you prescription for strong topical Lindane base ointment. It far superior to over counter remedy like Rid. It coming in lotion form, so pull you out several picture of Gus Hansen, rub on lotion, rub you one out, and by time you done crabs being dead.

For the telling of Ms. Liebert, Wong suggest repeated prank phone callings that allude to trip to all you being able for to eat seafood buffet, then hang up.

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Dear Wong

I am a virile male in his early 20’s. I miss recieving oral sex. I have not had any for over a year now. This is somewhat troubling because I have also been in a relationship for that long. What is your advice for persuading the woman to put her mouth where it has never been before?

Thank-you

Sincerely,

Waiting for dome.

Dear Headless,

Visit you your friendly local happy ending massage parlor. They being specialist in problem like you having. If you knowing not where to locate massage parlor, you obviousitively not as virile as you claiming, but consult you yellow pages for National Society of Happy Ending Massage Parlor Operators, Masters of Chinese Lovemakings and Low-Priced Taksout, and the Associated Hump Trades (NSHEMPOMCLLPTAHT for short). Any of our members going be able provide for you herbal preparation that going make woman powerless for to resist the slobberings on your knob, and delicate young asian girl to take care of you when it turn out that you really are dating at a frigid bitch.

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what is sally’s favorite position?

-i_did_a_poopy

Dear Mr. Poopy,

Just tonight, Sally Wong being get all hot and excited, start tear at Wong clothings, whisper in Wong ear, “Oh Harry, Sally being now so horny, going probably love you long time. You needs give at Sally number 69.” Wong becoming then very confused, ask at Sally, “You want kung pao chicken?”

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Dear Wong:

Things have changed. My opinions about the world were acceptable and now I am told I am “politically incorrect.” They say I am a “racist bigot redneck”. I say they are unfair. I am just supposed to accept a coloreds as secretary of state?! And a woman colored? And now those hippy liberals want to take “under God” out of the pledge? I will kill them before they take God out of the pledge! That is how our Lord and Savior would want it.

Signed,
Uncivilized Jerome

Dear Mr. Jerome,

America being land of freedom and opportunities. Wong moving here for ability operate happy ending massage parlor and foreign car garage without government interferences as long as keep sherriff paid off. You being free also for to hate at anybody you wanting to, whether it making of any sense or not. If you not liking have black lady in position of power, you free also to continue workings at WalMart and drinking cheap bourbon while collectinging weaponry for upcoming race war, after which south going quite possibly rise again.

Until then, if you having any problem with rising again, visit you at your local happy ending massage parlor, friendly girl help with relievings of stress from today society, and for small extra fee, reinforcing western prejudices about submissive asian woman.

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Wong,

We’ve known each other from other forums for sometime and your skills with the ladies are legendary. There is a woman I work with that is ugly, married, has 2 kids, is crass and angry, and is always whining. I heard she gives good head though. How do I go about getting some of that action?

-es0terix

Dear Mr. Terix,

This the kind question Wong recieving often from man who spending not enough time at friendly local happy ending massage parlor. Why you are wanting recieve head from ugly minlf that going possibly also ruin chances of promotion at work, when there being beautiful asian girl who waiting for to give you full release for less than the cost of bar tab you incurring while try forget how ugly that thing is that you just inserting shlong into?